If we could restart it all


image not mine

If we could go back to the start,

It would be a you and me thing,

Nobody said it would be easy,

Being in a relationship.


Memories of you are fading,

Where have those mud green eyes gone?

Your blond hair was my sun,

But now everything is disappearing.


It was fun,


The time we spend together,

The sound of your laughter

It’s slowly fading.


If we could go back to the start,

I’d made this last,

We use to play square,

Time was much more simple.


image not mine


We could barely speak the same language,

But it didn’t mattered,

All I needed was your eyes,

That mischievous smile,

To know what was being said.


You told me you use to be a model,

Russia was the only place you knew,

I remember you talked of your sisters,

You were the baby in your family.


I told you of my insecurities,

Tried to play the tough girl,

Nobody said it would be easy,

To stay together.


The time I think about you,

They are decreasing,

I did try e-mailing you,

But your replied came 

only once,

Did what we have,

Mean only that much to you?


Memories are filling me up,

Like that time we took picture,

Remember when you tried taking

my diary?

How we goofed off together?


image is not mine


The sound of basketball

Reminds me of that day,

We were playing,

You loved hockey,

yet Basketball came second.


Some boy ruined the confession,

Running to you and telling you

“She likes you!”

And I felt so embarrassed,

Yet you made me smile.


Your reply,

Will always be engraved in my mind

“Yeah, so?” 

Instead of laughing at me,

You winked,

and the rest was history.


image not mine


Those nights spend talking,

Holding your warm hand,

The sound of your voice,

It was music to my ear.


Where are you now?

Have you found someone else?

Do you still play Ice hockey?

Is your laughter still childish?


The day you left,

I cried the most,

Remember how tough I tried to act?

Telling you

“It’s alright…we can still e-mail each other”


You held me close,

Whispered something in my ear,

Then when you pulled away,

I wanted so badly to scream

“Please don’t leave me!”


Instead you walked away,

My heart broke,

Tears spilled,

Even the sky was crying.


How funny,

That we were both drummers,

I still remember when our bands played,

it was the day I told you

“Ты мне нравишься (ti mne nravish-sya)”

You replied “What?”

Remembered how I screamed

“I like you idiot!”

Because my memories is still there,

On how you looked at me,


Then said “Oh” 

While I kissed your cheek and ran away.


Our friends went through a lot of trouble,

Trying to get us to be together,

Those summer nights spend with you,

Were some of the happiest I’ve had,

It was all thanks to you,



If we could go back to the start,

I would fix so many things,

You and I would still be friends,

Nobody said it would be easy,

To keep the bond we made.


I got to have the summer camping experience of getting to go to a cool place where I played in a band, created my own music, met a lot of amazing people, liked a cute and interesting Russian boy and shared my poetry. Sometimes I feel regret that I wasn’t able to stay in contact with the boy I liked, I send him e-mails and he replied only once then stopped replying, luckily I am still in contact with a few of my true friends from that camp.


([]) In Eternity([])

A/}/ P


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